thoughts

this is kinda rough... but here we go...

when Jesus said in His parable that the Pharisees were diligent tithers, doing it till even the cents involved(in current day context), He said that they should do well in the 'former' as well

the former was in terms of honoring parents... which is the most basic of all relationship. If you cannot respect and honor the one who gave life to your physical body, put up with your nonsense, took care of your whining and whimpering when you are sick, celebrated for you when you did well, encouraged you when you were down(in their own fashion... which may not be what you like, but hell, it was for YOUR good?!) AND THEY DID IT FOR YEARS!

who can you say truly respect?

your friends? sure... if the kickback was acceptance and becoming part of the posse.
your boss? definitely, for pay rise and promotions, some people can bend backwards even
your leader? so that you look good... sounds like the scribes and pharisees to me

face it, a man who can respect the first leaders of his life, appointed by God, are the ones who are often considered real. these people tend to be more confident in who they are and that would come across to those that they interact with. That also means that such people are more likely to be secured in themselves and able to truly respect the subsequent leaders in their lives. Because these people had learnt to love and respect their first leaders, their parents, the same parents that slave away at their work, to provide for you as best as they can, comes home to clear your poo, endure your tantrum, stay by your bedside when you were sick, even if they have to be awake early for an important meeting the next day.

If your parents are the type that you would love to hate, i am sorry to hear that, but, reconciling with them is what you are expected to do. And that kind of action takes a bigger person to accomplish... not everyone can do it... and that is not important. What's important is... CAN YOU DO IT? Or would you rather 'put up a front' for the rest of your life?

personally, i am sick of it... i had left because i am tired... tired of putting up a front, behaving as expected of me... it has been about 6 months now... by the grace of God, i have not left church. I am more of me than i ever was, both good and evil shows up. And i know myself better. It has been a good experience and i look forward to coming back stronger... because i know who i am, i can be who i am supposed to be... and trust Him to shape me into an arrow that will not miss the mark. When i used to avoid problems, these days, i look in it the eyes and spit it in the face.

i think i like what i am... but i still look down on those that fear me.